PARKBENCHONTOLOGY

LATEST EPISODE:Simulation / Spectacle: The Real Satanic Panic
UPCOMING SHOWS:Nov 18Hamilton, CA
ZINE DROP:This is where we begin
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Park Bench Ontology

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Park Bench Ontology is a low-stakes existential crisis disguised as a comedy podcast for people quietly losing faith in the script of modern life. Each week, comedian and writer Gavin Stephens dissects the absurd machinery of capitalism and culture — from sitcoms to wealth inequality, Baudrillard to people who park in bike lanes — exposing the broken myths, invisible rules, and slow-motion collapse we all pretend isn’t happening.

Simulation / Spectacle: The Real Satanic Panic

They told us fantasy games were dangerous, but reality was the real cult. In Episode 8, Gavin looks at how the Satanic Panic became a rehearsal for today’s culture wars — a simulation of evil that kept us from noticing the system running the show. Featuring dark humor, theory, and a touch of absurdism, this episode dives into the spectacle of fear, nostalgia, and control that defines our era. Park Bench Ontology — “Simulation / Spectacle: The Real Satanic Panic.” 🎙 Park Bench Ontology — existential comedy for the end of the world.

11/10/2025

LIVE SHOW DATES

Art Gallery Tours

Nov 18, 2025 · Hamilton, CA

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Art Gallery Tours

Nov 19, 2025 · Hamilton, CA

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Smooth Comedy

Nov 28, 2025 · Hamilton, CA

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Spotlight Comedy Club

Dec 5, 2025 · St. Catharines, CA

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Spotlight Comedy Club

Dec 6, 2025 · St. Catharines, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 16, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 17, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 18, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 19, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 20, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 20, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 21, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Levity Comedy

Jan 16, 2026 · Hamilton, CA

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Levity Comedy

Jan 17, 2026 · Hamilton, CA

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Absolute Comedy Ottawa (MC)

Jan 27, 2026 · Ottawa, CA

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FROM THE SUBSTACK

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ABOUT GAVIN

Gavin Stephens Portrait

Juno-nominated comedian and Canadian Screen Award winner Gavin Stephens draws on his working-class Caribbean roots to bring a sharp, unflinching perspective to the stage. His comedy isn't crowd work or pandering — it's a live existential interrogation. Every show is a unique experiment: weird, risky, and uncomfortably honest, where absurdity, ideas, and uncomfortable truths collide.

His Juno-nominated album All Inclusive Coma proved that undeniable work speaks for itself. With Park Bench Ontology, Gavin delivers blue-collar critiques wrapped in existential dread, calling bullshit on polite liberalism, market virtue, and nationalist performance art.

Gavin has performed at Just for Laughs Montreal and Toronto, SXSW, the Hamilton Fringe, the South African Comedy Festival , with two network comedy specials and two solo shows (Spectacular, Spectacular and Object of Strangeness ), and appeared on CBC's Lol, The Debaters, and CTV's Comedy Inc. He's also a columnist for CBC Hamilton. Shaped by working-class and Caribbean culture, his comedy explores identity, ideology, and modern absurdities with wit and urgency. Every performance is a rare experiment in comedy and ideas — best experienced in person.

PHILOSOPHY & METHOD

Gavin's comedy lives where collapse meets clarity. His work blends Afro-Absurdism with Ontological Collapse — a smart, critical, punk-philosophical style that asks not just "What's funny?" but "What's real?" It's comedy that unpacks symbols, implicates the audience, and refuses to let cultural performance pass for meaning.

Whether in stand-up, podcasting, or longform essays, Gavin’s not here to entertain passively — he’s here to throw a philosophical wrench in the gears. If it can’t be questioned, it can’t be funny.

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