PARKBENCHONTOLOGY

LATEST EPISODE:We're Here Now
UPCOMING SHOWS:Sep 3 β€” Toronto, CA
ZINE DROP:Tilting at Data Centres: AI, Capital, and the Windmill
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Park Bench Ontology

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Park Bench Ontology is a low-stakes existential crisis disguised as a comedy podcast for people quietly losing faith in the script of modern life. Each week, comedian and writer Gavin Stephens dissects the absurd machinery of capitalism and culture β€” from sitcoms to wealth inequality, Baudrillard to people who park in bike lanes β€” exposing the broken myths, invisible rules, and slow-motion collapse we all pretend isn’t happening.

We're Here Now

This is the new home for Park Bench Ontology. If you followed the show over from the old feed β€” welcome back. Anything before this episode is the archive; everything from here is new. Season 4 lands September 14. Subscribe at parkbenchontology.substack.com for the show and for the essays in between β€” same lens, just sometimes written down instead of said out loud. https://parkbenchontology.substack.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit parkbenchontology.substack.com

7/17/2026

LIVE SHOW DATES

Pro Show

Sep 3, 2026 Β· Toronto, CA

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Comedy Stand

Oct 30, 2026 Β· Halifax, CA

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Comedy Stand

Oct 31, 2026 Β· Halifax, CA

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Rusty Nail

Nov 6, 2026 Β· Kitchener, CA

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Rusty Nail

Nov 7, 2026 Β· Kitchener, CA

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ABOUT GAVIN

Gavin Stephens Portrait

Gavin Stephens makes Park Bench Ontology β€” stand-up, video essays, and theatre that take apart the ideological scaffolding of ordinary life and doesn't reassemble it. Polite liberalism, market virtue, and nationalist performance art doesn't survive contact with the material. His art is informed by working-class Caribbean roots and his blue-collar read on the intellectual: Afro-Absurdism and Ontological Collapse, comedy that unpacks the symbol and implicates the room watching it.

Just for Laughs once told him they wanted a Canadian Chris Rock. He said no. He wasn't asked back. He has the rΓ©sumΓ© anyway β€” a Juno nomination for All Inclusive Coma, a Canadian Screen Award for writing, SXSW, the Hamilton Fringe, the South African Comedy Festival, two network specials, two solo shows (Spectacular, Spectacular and Object of Strangeness), CBC's LOL and The Debaters, and CTV's Comedy Inc. He's a columnist for CBC Hamilton.

His practice runs past the stage. The Art Gallery of Hamilton commissioned him to build comedy tours of its Metamorphosis: Visions of Antiquity in the Modern Era exhibit and its Black History Month programming. He made hermit-cast, a location-aware weather app that generates anti-capitalist reasons to stay home or quietly quit β€” functional software as ideological object. He's developing The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth, a documentary on nerd culture as political identity: an escape from freedom, a community built equally on belonging and gatekeeping.

Essays at parkbenchontology.substack.com.

If it can't be questioned, it can't be funny.

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