PARKBENCHONTOLOGY

LATEST EPISODE:Welcome to the Collapse
UPCOMING SHOWS:Sep 5Richmond Hill, CA
ZINE DROP:This is where we begin
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Park Bench Ontology

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Park Bench Ontology is a low-stakes existential crisis disguised as a comedy podcast for people quietly losing faith in the script of modern life. Each week, comedian and writer Gavin Stephens dissects the absurd machinery of capitalism and culture — from sitcoms to wealth inequality, Baudrillard to people who park in bike lanes — exposing the broken myths, invisible rules, and slow-motion collapse we all pretend isn’t happening.

Welcome to the Collapse

Uncolonized is Evolving… New Season. New Ontology. From Uncolonized → Park Bench Ontology For years, Uncolonized has been our space to challenge culture, identity, and power. That work isn’t ending — it’s mutating. We’re evolving into Park Bench Ontology: a lo-fi philosophy podcast about collapse, comedy, and the strange theatre of being human. Think zine-brained philosophy meets Adult Swim absurdity — sitting on the park bench, staring at capitalism’s weird machinery, and laughing so we don’t scream. The first episode drops 22/09/25. It’s called "For the Love of Don Rickles." I discuss insults, comedy, and death. Same feed. New lens. Visit our website: gavinstephens.ca Check out the Substack: Dispatch From The Simulation Follow us on instagram: @countgavin Follow us on BlueSky: GavinBStephens Subscribe and leave a review!

8/18/2025

LIVE SHOW DATES

Jokers Comedy Club

Sep 5, 2025 · Richmond Hill, CA

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Jokers Comedy Club

Sep 6, 2025 · Richmond Hill, CA

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Halifax Live

Sep 12, 2025 · Halifax, CA

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Halifax Live

Sep 13, 2025 · Halifax, CA

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Rusty Nail Comedy

Oct 3, 2025 · Kitchener, CA

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Rusty Nail Comedy

Oct 4, 2025 · Kitchener, CA

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Pro Show

Oct 9, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Hirut Hoot Cafe

Oct 31, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Art Gallery Tours

Nov 17, 2025 · Hamilton, CA

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Art Gallery Tours

Nov 18, 2025 · Hamilton, CA

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Art Gallery Tours

Nov 19, 2025 · Hamilton, CA

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Smooth Comedy

Nov 28, 2025 · Hamilton, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 16, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 17, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 18, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 19, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 20, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 20, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Absolute Comedy Toronto

Dec 21, 2025 · Toronto, CA

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Levity Comedy

Jan 16, 2026 · Hamilton, CA

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Levity Comedy

Jan 17, 2026 · Hamilton, CA

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Absolute Comedy Ottawa (MC)

Jan 27, 2026 · Ottawa, CA

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FROM THE SUBSTACK

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ABOUT GAVIN

Gavin Stephens Portrait

Gavin Stephens is a Caribbean-Canadian comic, writer, and cultural irritant. Born working class and raised by contradiction, he makes comedy that can’t be branded, bought, or packaged — the kind that forces a system built on surface and spectacle to reckon with substance.

His Juno-nominated album All Inclusive Coma proved that even when the industry doesn’t know what to do with you, undeniable work speaks for itself. With Park Bench Ontology Gavin delivers blue-collar critiques wrapped in existential dread, calling bullshit on polite liberalism, market virtue, and nationalist performance art.

Gavin isn’t here to kill — he’s here to confront. His comedy doesn’t flatter its audience; it implicates them. And in a scene built on market value and middle-class myth, his voice is hard to brand, harder to ignore.

PHILOSOPHY & METHOD

Gavin’s comedy lives where collapse meets clarity. His work blends Afro-Absurdism with Ontological Collapse — a smart, critical, punk-philosophical style that asks not just “What’s funny?” but “What’s real?” It’s comedy that unpacks symbols, implicates the audience, and refuses to let cultural performance pass for meaning.

He calls the method: Lo-Fi Ontological Satire — zine-brained, theory-laced, and low-gloss. It pulls from cultural studies, conspiracy logic, and the poetry of working-class life. It’s cartoonish but brutal, political without sermonizing, and built to push back on every soft lie that holds up a dying system.

Whether in stand-up, podcasting, or longform essays, Gavin’s not here to entertain passively — he’s here to throw a philosophical wrench in the gears. If it can’t be questioned, it can’t be funny.

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